How to talk about a crappy job
Our question today asks
"hey Ty,
I collect rubbish/garbage for a living, yet im waiting to start University to study dentistry.
even though i have NO PROBLEM with my occupation, girls tend to recoil when they find out what i do.
ive tried mystery's way of telling girls about your ambitions but it tends to be long-winded and needs alot of already built confort, and i find in set people tend to ask early on, even if i give a smart arse answer, they tend to press for an answer!
ive also tried saying that im a student etc, but end up being found out that im lying when on the second meet. (this really makes me look uncool btw!)
I know for a fact people will write that i should just fuck girls off who have a problem or say its thier problem, but i think that ideological babble, that realistically people cant help thier own stereotypes of certain jobs and my inner game is strong enough to believe that when i reach that hook and i can build comfort for them to fall for me,
i just believe that im missing out on alot of sex!!! (or a meaningfull relationship??)lol
i need your feed back!!!!"
Tyler at confidencedynamics.com
says that:
why not be upfront about it. The best thing I ever did for myself was to be genuine and honest. You seem to want to hide it.. screw that. If you want to take this advice to the max you could even use it to talk to new girls.
You: hey guys would you ever date a trash collector if he was cute and funny?
them: sure I guess if I liked him.
You: cool I'm Tom
if you want to use it further on in conversation I like to
Ask her what she does first
Her: I'm a teacher
You: cool what is it that you like about teaching
Her: I love that I'm giving back to society and making the world a better place through our children
You: (rewarding her for sharing) wow you are very generous, I like that about you.. See my job lots of people may look down on me for it, but I get that same feeling of giving back to society and helping make the world a better place when I do my job.
Her: what do you do?
You: I'm a trash collector, it's really intriguing to see all the crazy stuff people throw away. We are so wasteful you know? Do you ever waste stuff?
Her:(will probably totally ignore the part about being a trash collector because your passion for helping the world completely overshadows it)
What I'm trying to demonstrate here is that it's not what you do, but how you feel about what you do. If you have reasons that being a trash collector is a good thing then you should focus on those. Focus on all the good that's coming out of what you are doing. Without you guys my house would look really bad and no chick would ever come back here. You are an asset in nearly every guy having any girls involved in his life at all. Think about how many guys trash you've taken? Think about how all those guys wouldn't have gotten a girlfriend if mold and flies were everywhere flying around. You could be the biggest cause of guys even having girls in their life in awile. So to you my friend... respect.
Bantering 101
Girl: Do these jeans make my ass look fat?
Ty: Well I don't think a pair of jeans can make your ass look fat hun, but do these boxers make my balls look small?
Girl: well sure I told you to get the higher thread count lol
Ty: hmmm well how about you give me some of your threadcount from those jeans it'll make your ass look smaller and my balls look bigger eh?
What is this an example of? Here I'll give you another one.
(I had taken a Girl to the botanical gardens)
Girl: I'm sooo sunburned!
Ty: oh really where at?
Girl: like my face and only one of my shoulders probably from you shoving me in the bush
Ty: lol well obviously its from shoving you in the bush I was nice enough to save one of your shoulders from getting burned, see I got your back.
Girl: Well obviously you should shove me into bigger bushes
Ty: Actually I like small bushes why don't you get a smaller bush?
Girl: My bush is nonexistent
Ty: ohhh sexy I bet nair's stock just tripled
Girl: yes I even got enough for you
Ty: oh joy
Girl: oh yes, be over in a bit
Ty: aw shit
Understand the pattern yet? The common thing between both of these scenarios is the playful banter going back and forth. Learning flirty banter is possible and will help you in many situations. It will increase your natural social intuition, your sense of humor, and will make a Girl attracted to you and comfortable with you very quickly. Generally we only playfully tease our close friends like this, but if you can learn to tease a woman in the same way you do friends while still being sexual with it then a Girl will feel as if she has known you for much longer than she actually has. Teaching banter skills is very similar to teaching how to have a sense of humor, however there are a few differences. The first is that banter can be learned very quickly as it is nothing much more than arguing with a smile. The key to banter is a playful attitude. Think about how you would tease a little sister if you have one, or if you don't go babysit a child or work at a daycare for a bit. One of the purest sources of playfulness that I've learned from is children. People seem to lose this playful nature when they become adults. Authority figures in their attempts to control us and make us conform to patterns of behavior they believe will help us tend to punish playfulness because many times it leads to undesirable behavior. Children have not had this part of them killed yet, and the things they can teach us about letting our playful side out are quite amazing. If you aren't comfortable with children around a lack of playfulness could be the reason. You may say Ty, that's all fine and good, but I still think I can't banter because I'm not smart enough to banter, I've never been quick witted. I am way too serious to do banter very easily. Ah you aren't witTy huh, well that's fine neither am I. It's not really about being quick witted its about using your imagination in a logical way.
Ty: Man slushees give me bitchin brain freezes
Girl: maybe your brain is always frozen! :p
Ty: it's possible that'd be awesome you should drink like 6 slushees and we could be brain freeze buddies.
Girl: I'm not sure I want my brain frozen
Ty: Hey, you want some slushee?
Girl: Sure drinks some slushee
Ty: haha too late one sip and your brain is frozen we brain freeze buddies now.
Girl: lol hmm, so I guess we can never kiss because your brain might melt and you could die.
Ty: actually if you melted my brain down I could become a genius and cure cancer, you are for curing cancer right?
Girl: yea I guess so
Ty: Well I guess the fate of the world is in whether you kiss me or not
Girl: hmmm
Ty:, but screw it I like my brain freeze too much to let you kiss me anyways haha, plus Girls have cooties
I will finish that here, but you notice how I through in yet another line that would cause more banter at the end there. It's very easy to do just say things that are surprising and playful and argue them out. If you are always serious this may be of some difficulty to you, but fear not it is quite easy if you just put a few minutes practice in every day. You don't even have to banter with hot Girls just yet, try it on people that won't judge you first just until you get the hang of it. I'm sure you will grow to love it.
send any questions to tyler@confidencedynamics.com